Holding Loss in the Body: Grief, Acupuncture, and Gentle Repair
One of the reasons clients seek out acupuncture is for support during times of loss. A fresh loss can usher in a complicated and disorienting time, one where we are trying to make sense of a sudden change. It may even be difficult to identify a particular painful experience. We may find ourselves in denial, working hard to regain something that is missing. Distracting ourselves to numb or avoid the pain of what’s happening is not uncommon.
Grief as an Ongoing Process
Grieving is not a single event, but an ongoing process that unfolds. Just as the seasons of the year pass, periods in our lives do as well, each bringing changes that reshape our inner and outer landscape. While grief is often associated with the death of a loved one, we also grieve the loss of abilities, health, relationships, identities, or imagined futures. These losses may not always be recognized or acknowledged, yet they can still carry deep emotional weight.
Acupuncture as Support During Grief
In the clinic, grief often shows up quietly. It may arrive as fatigue, shallow breathing, tension in the chest, disrupted sleep, or a sense of heaviness that is difficult to articulate. Acupuncture offers a space where grief does not need to be explained or resolved. Through gentle, attentive care, the body is given permission to soften, the nervous system to settle, and emotions to move at their own pace. Rather than asking the feelings to change, treatment supports the body in meeting what is already present.
From a Chinese Medicine perspective, grief is closely linked with the Lungs and the process of letting go. When grief is held or unexpressed, it can affect our capacity to breathe fully and to adapt to change. Acupuncture can support this process by helping restore rhythm and circulation, offering steadiness during times when life feels uncertain or destabilized.
Grief rarely asks to be fixed. More often, it asks to be met with curiosity, patience, and care. Acupuncture can support this meeting by creating an embodied pause, a place where we can listen rather than rush forward. From this place of listening, gentle questions may begin to arise—questions that help us stay present with our grief, rather than pushing past it. These questions are not meant to provide answers, but to open space for what wants to be felt, acknowledged, and slowly integrated.
Reflective Questions to Ask Yourself
Permission
What is this grief asking me to feel right now?
If I didn’t need to be strong or functional, what would be here?
What am I afraid would happen if I let this be fully felt?
What part of me is trying to rush this along?
Understanding
What exactly has been lost? (a person, a future, a role, a sense of safety, a version of myself)
What did this loss give meaning to in my life?
What unfinished feelings or words are still present?
How old does this grief feel? (sometimes grief echoes earlier losses)
Orienting toward the body
Where do I feel this grief in my body right now?
What happens if I stay with the sensation rather than the story?
What does my body need in this moment—movement, rest, contact, space?
Your needs
What kind of support would actually help right now—and what wouldn’t?
Who can I be honest with about how this really feels?
What boundaries do I need while grieving?
How can I care for myself without trying to heal or resolve anything?
Meaning
What does this grief say about what I love or value?
What part of me is still alive inside this grief?
What is changing in me because of this, even if I don’t like it?
How might I carry this, rather than get over it?
